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The journey to conquer myself

 A deep, honest, for-better change isn’t easy, but it is worth.

Last April was my 48 BD. 

Most likely I won’t live another round, and what’s left surely won’t be easier.

I was born –if I haven’t said it before– on April 23, 1977. I had all that I needed and I’ve wasted it, I’ve earned money and I’ve spent it, I’ve said words and done things –to others and myself– that later regretted. 

Here’s a list of what I regret the most:

For the wasted time,
for I haven’t done what I wanted to,
for my mediocre fatherhood,
for my ungratefulness and disrespect to my family,
for hurting others,
for hurting myself,
for the forever-lost foolish desire of wanting to meet Elvira before the moment I did.

However,

I have two daughters,
my parents are still alive and keep believing in me,
I have a place to live, to love, and work;
I have food on my table and clothes to wear,
I have air in my lungs, blood in my veins,
I have someone to love,
I have dreams,
and the unfailing love of God.

God forgave me so I forgive myself, and stop dwelling on regrets. Whatever is my time left on this land, I’ll do my best for the rest of my life. 

For sure there’s a lot to correct, but I trust The Word as my guide; Christ as my strength; and God as my loving Father who meet all my needs according to his providence and abundance. 

Yes, I’m a confessed Christian.

When I chose to walk through the valley of death God never give up on me.

Despite myself, He preserved me until this moment. I have the privilege to acknowledge God presence in my life. In those darkest times, when I was choosing destruction over creation, poverty over wealthness, distraction over purpose; He never abandoned me. On top of that, God in His absolute wisdom sent to my life a unique, beautiful, intelligent and inspiring woman as my lover and parther. Elvira Ruiz has a polyfacetic personality that has lead her to achieve several goals and undeniable recognition in many fields of knowledge. 

When I met her, I had already abandoned my dreams, my eagerness, and my hopes, holding just on playing music as much as possible. After that moment, things really started to change inside me.  

It’s a long story, short.

I did wrong many times, now I’ve realized, I’m correcting and moving forward, God as compass.

So, here are some areas where we are redirecting our efforts nowadays:

  • Gesticulate Scenic Arts Company. It was first established by Elvira as El Gesticulador in the 1990s and changed to its current name in 2002. In her own words: “GSAC creates, produces, and promotes performances, performing and multimedia arts, and plays for the audiences”. The company has received several awards for its outstanding stagecraft, which has been the hallmark of its director and founder.
  • In the beginning, attached to the GSAC brand was OTROS RELATOS (Other Stories): A radio show broadcasting true and fictional narratives, accurate information, and critical analysis, on various topics for educational, cultural, and artistic purposes.

Those ventures were already running by the time I met Elvira, so I took them where they were and started to collaborate with her. But new things have been created since we were together. 

Due to a string of events that occurred in recent years, we decided to create a Book Publishing company, and we named it:

And for almost a year now, we’ve been working on publish our first editorial product: 

  • OTRAS LETRAS (Other Letters) Education, Art, Culture, Science, and Subjectivity. It’s a multidisciplinary, interdisciplinary, and transdisciplinary academic journal that provides an innovative approach, complex treatment, and timely knowledge on diverse areas of knowledge.

For gather all those ventures together under a sole brand, we have established:

What happened to my other projects?

Change is inevitable. 

During these almost three decades that I’ve been searching my own path, I have explored other interests with more or less success. 

For the environment.   

I’ve worked in the recycling industry (actually, I’ve relied on that activity for a few years) and also tried to establish a magazine named Punto Azul (Blue Point) as a starting point for this purpose. 

For the music culture promotion.

In 2010, I established El Perro Azul (The Blue Dog) brand with the purpose of promoting jazz and blues, and emerging artists’ music. This venture walked over different stages, starting as a blog where I write about local gigs and music news, also a radio station online, and more recently, a YouTube channel. 

On professional communication.

I’m a graphic designer and communicator, services business has been one of my things. Under my brand LIVE! COMUNICACI脫N PROFESIONAL, I’ve been working for over 20 years now, across many industries and commercial segments. Even though my logo has not been visible in my latest visual productions, these years with Elvira, collaborating with her projects, have been the most productive for the agency. However, as with El Perro Azul, we haven’t reached an agreement on adding my brands to CPDS Corporation; so I’ve decided instead of pushing it, to refocus those brands once and for all on my own agenda, along with... 

My music career

Recently I’ve been working with more consistency than before, but I’m not yet where I’ve dreamed of. I will do my stuff or die trying. And I have this other dream I should not talk about yet, but the World will know when the time comes.

What’s next?

I think Blogger is a great platform for keeping a (both personal and public) journal where I record the endeavors of this new season in my life. I’m not afraid of anything now I acknowledge the presence of the Spirit and I feel the love of God leading my ventures. Everything has been moving now with purpose, with the clear mission of SHARE WONDERS to the World.


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